Teach your kids how to de-clutter and let go

Do you have an issue with letting go of things? Well, guess what? Chances are so will your kids. We all know that kids, for the most part, learn their behaviors from their parents. Cluttering, disorganization and hoarding is no exception.

They will watch you not putting things back where they belong and they will learn that setting up their environment so that it is easy to live and work in isn’t important and making life harder is the way to go. If they hear you justify holding on to something by saying, “I might need it someday” they will learn that getting rid of anything means being deprived later which instills fear and lack of trust. If they see you wearing clothes that don’t fit, need mending or not a complimentary style and they will learn that putting their best foot forward doesn’t matter. They look at all of the items that you buy that are more than what you need and they learn that having a lot of stuff is what living is all about. So I think you get my drift. Your kids are watching and if you are a clutter bug and can’t let things go easily then your kids may grow up having the same problem.

So at this point you may be asking how do I stop my kids from aquiring the same behaviors I have when it comes to stuff? And the answers are simple. Model organized behavior and start teaching them now how to let things go.

I started my daughter de-cluttering at the age of 2. I would put a bin of toys in front of her and tell her to get rid of 5 things. Ya, at first she gave me a hard time so I let her talk me down to only a couple items at first but at least it was something and she understood that letting things go was going to be a common occurence in our home. Now at 8 when I tell her it’s decluttering time she easily sits down and goes through her stuff in a snap. In fact, sometimes if other kids come over she’ll just give some of her stuff away. It makes her feel good now to give away.

And kids understand organizing better than you think. I went to her pre-school for parents talk about your work day and showed all the kids how to sort items into like categories. They all got it, and were all on board with it. My daughter even came home and started organizing the refrigerator. I even had a client’s 16 month old stand next to a bin and I handed her stuff and said put it in this box and she did. Joyfully. Just that simple action, repeated over and over, will get them use to putting things away.

So here’s some suggestions how to make the process easier.

Make a competition or game of it. Recently, I asked one of my client’s kids to pick up all the toys in the room. He resisted at first. When I asked him how long he thought it would take him to do this he said an hour. Because he thought it would take way longer than it actually would, it paralyzed him into not taking any action at all. I asked him just to clear off just the top of the coffee table and challenged him to do it in under 2 minutes, he did it in one. We high fived afterwards and he was so proud and went to his mom and said, “Mom I cleared that area in one minute”. I know as a parent, it’s not always realistic to make every clean up experience a fun and exciting time but if you can integrate fun into the experience even once a week, you may see greater cooperation from your kids.

Ask for their input. Kids love calling the shots and being problem solvers. Ask them for creative solutions on how to clean up an area.

Tell them, when they have at least 10 bankers sized boxes worth of stuff, they can have a mini garage sale and keep all the money from it.

Tell them that they don’t have to let go but maybe just let loose and put the items they think they may get rid of but not totally ready to part with in a box and label 3 months from now. In 3 months, if they haven’t used it, they may now see the wisdom in letting it go. Instill in them that if it’s not being used, some other little kid might really enjoy playing with it. Be careful here to not come from a place of guilt when doing this. I’ve seen this happen. No bueno.

You can also rotate their items. This works really well for toys. Sometimes when they haven’t seen their toys in a while, they look like brand new toys to them. You can even do this with your own items like chatzkis, decorative items and pictures.

Put them in charge of clutter. Meaning, allowing them to call the shots when it comes time to getting the parents to let go of their stuff. Putting them in charge may make them more responsible with their own belongings.

Finally, if everything has a designated place and that area only can hold so much, it will be obvious when there are too many items in that area. For example, if there is a single bookcase in their room and all shelves are full of books, then it will be obvious that there is no more room for another book and then the rule will be to make room for something else you have to get rid of something.

The older your kids are, the harder it may be to gain their cooperation. I’ve had success in getting the older kids to cooperate when their rooms are set up to match where they are at in their lives. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in kids rooms that dont’ reflect their personalities, age or likes at all. This communicates to them that their needs aren’t being honored and they will feel as though they aren’t being nurtured or supported. If they feel this way, you can bet you aren’t going to get the level of cooperation from them that you are seeking. Something as simple as taking them shopping for new bedding or furniture can make a world of difference in their desire to keep their rooms clean. I just finished with a client where her bedroom still contained the furniture she had when she was much younger. We switched her room to a totally different room and decorated with the colors and design she loves and added furniture and other decorative pieces. When she got done with her cruise with her grandparents, all she wanted to do was to come home and be in her room. That said a lot.

So if you think your kid may not be open to the idea of organizing and de-cluttering think again. It just may be how you are going about asking them to help. Are you nagging them to clean up their room or are you showing them how and setting up their room so it’s easy for them to keep it clean? And if you are not modeling organized behavior yourself, guaranteed your kids are thinking well my mom and dad aren’t staying clean and organized so why should I? And if you aren’t organized then you need to seek outside yourself to learn how to be. You can’t teach what you don’t know. Place importance on being organized and your kids will more than likely follow your suit.

Single mom, organizing and productivity expert, Tracy Paye has been transforming spaces into livable and lovable environments since the age of 12. Tracy’s passion is to help people experience freedom from their stuff and re-design their lives. Through hands on organizing, coaching, consulting, speaking engagements, media appearances, and writing Tracy has positively impacted countless people by inspiring, empowering and motivating people to take action and gain control of their lives. If you are interested to learn more about Tracy’s organizing services you can visit her site at www.tracypaye.com. You can also follow her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/missorganized.