Paris, my daughter, is an almost 8 year old with bright red hair, a huge smile, big hazel eyes, more sass than Punky Brewster and Pippi Longstocking combined and has the cutest set of freckles I’ve ever seen. I remember when I saw her first freckle on her nose around the age of 5 I was so excited because I knew it was only a matter of time before she got them and I also knew she would look even more adorable with them. I have freckles and started developing them around the same age I think.
I never remember not liking my freckles till I got to be around 12 years old. I just remember looking at a beauty book that my step grandmother had that I think dated back to the 1950’s and there was a section in there on freckles. They were suggesting that having freckles wasn’t a good thing for the beauty department and said that you can use lemon juice to fade them. So, believing everything I read at the time, I doused my freckles in lemon juice, thinking they were ugly, in hopes they would go away but nope. Those little brown spots were here to stay.
I’m not exactly sure at what point I grew to love my freckles and started appreciating that they made me look a little different. I had an ex point out once the freckle I have on my lip that I was actually embarrassed about and say how much he loved it. That may have been a turning point in my acceptance of my freckles.
Little red has been getting into putting on makeup, jewelry and doing her hair. Now she is a self proclaimed tom boy so this is quite a turning point for her too that she interested in these things. She even asked if she could wear my high heels today. I love that she’s getting into dolling herself up. That’s what little girls do. I totally did. I was always dressing up and entertaining any chance I could get. I must admit though, it’s driving me a bit batty how she’ll go into the bathroom and all of a sudden I’ll hear the hiss and hiss and hiss and more hissing from the hairspray bottle as she drenches her hair in it. Her latest favorite style? Slicking it back on both sides and then the top. It’s a bit greaser meets Charlize Theron in her portrayal of a female serial killer in the movie Monster. But as they say in the south, “God bless her heart” she sure tries.
I was shocked, disheartened but actually not surprised to hear her say as she’s playing with my makeup, that she doesn’t like her freckles. As much as I try to help her to feel good about who she is and what she looks like, I’m afraid that no amount of self esteem boosting I do could protect her from her inevitable disliking of her freckles. So I wonder, what was it that actually got her to look at herself and think that? Was it friends, other family members or pictures in the media that did it? I’m not sure. I don’t want her growing up not loving her freckles. But I’m afraid, as it goes with most of us girls, she will find things about her appearance that she doesn’t like.
It’s understandable though how it could happen. The constant bombardment of all the advertising women are exposed to in regards to beauty is enough to make most girls feel pretty insecure with their looks. There is always some latest this or that to make curly hair straight, eyelashes longer, butts rounder, more cleavage, flawless skin, plumper lips, waist slimmer and many other ways that we can alter our appearance.
All I can do is to remind her that she is beautiful just the way she is. But more importantly, instill the ability for her to look at herself and think the same thing. I definitely don’t want to teach her to rely on other people’s opinions to make her feel good about herself rather empower her to feel good about herself so regardless of what others think, she will always have the one person that matters most on her side. Herself. And hopefully she can look at herself and one day think her freckles are cool too.
Single mom, organizing and productivity expert, Tracy Paye has been transforming spaces into livable and lovable environments since the age of 12. Tracy’s passion is to help people experience freedom from their stuff and re-design their lives. Through hands on organizing, coaching, consulting, speaking engagements, media appearances, and writing Tracy has positively impacted countless people by inspiring, empowering and motivating people to take action and gain control of their lives. If you are interested to learn more about Tracy’s organizing services you can visit her site at www.tracypaye.com. You can also follow her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/missorganized.
