I love myself because…..

 Posted by Tracy on June 23, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 232010
 

I live for proud mommy moments. I define those moments as times when my conscious parenting plays out in the way it was intended. I am delighted when I give Paris a certain amount of money to spend and she demonstrates her understanding of my money management lessons when she makes choices on purchasing what she really wants versus spending just to spend. My heart fills with joy when she goes out of her way to teach another kid how to do something or how she selflessly shares. But my proudest mommy moments are when she’s patting herself on her back.

One of my favorite memories is when I told her she was a piece of work and her response was, “I’m a piece of genius.” That showed me the effort I’ve made with not just boosting her self esteem but having her boost her own self esteem paid off. This is an area I really focus on because it is my belief that if a child is able to hold on to the healthy sense of self that we are all born with, then they will be much better equipped to deal with all the adversity that comes their way.

We got into a conversation the other day that lead Paris to say, “I love myself.” Now what parent doesn’t want to hear their kid say that? So I asked what do you love about yourself? She proceeded to give me a laundry list of several reasons why she loves herself, one of them being because of how creative she is. I swear I almost cried I was so happy with this moment and I gave myself a silent goooooooo me! She then asked me what do I love about myself. And I’m proud to say that today I am able to say much more easily what my laundry list is for reasons I love myself. But getting to that place has been no easy path. Continue reading »

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – “There Ain’t No Cure for the Summertime Blues!”

 Posted by Bruce on June 22, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 222010
 

Do you remember that great Eddie Cochran song, “Summertime Blues” from the fifties? Originally a single B-side, it peaked at #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 on September 29, 1958. Cochran died at the tender age of 21 in a taxi accident in England. The song is ranked #73 in Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All Time. But, enough of the music history lesson as it’s another summer and another 10 weeks wondering what the boys will be doing, as well as the family as a whole.

Each summer poses unique challenges for parents and kids. This summer is no different for my family as we’re moving sometime just before school starts in the fall. Everyone knows about the joys of moving and we’re happy with the new house that we think we have. The deal is yet to close, as of this writing, but it’s looking good. The prospect of moving again, just two years after our last move, isn’t a likely highlight of this summer. We have some minor work to do on the new house, though my experience is it’s never “minor.”

My younger son, Aaron, goes to summer camp each year and absolutely loves it. He’s developed summer friends that he stays in touch with all year long but only sees during each summer’s four-week camp session. They’re growing up together, it seems, summer after summer. So, for him, that will be the highlight of his summer, plus he loves sleeping and staying up late without the burden of school. Continue reading »

Tips for Dads (and moms, too)

 Posted by Lisa on June 18, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 182010
 

The other day while walking the track at our local park I watched the dads play with their kids. It was a simple and wonderful sight. One dad had a kite and two kids, one just about 18 months another 3 or 4. Together they launched the kite in the air and the baby toddled around and laughed. I was in awe of them, for with two that age I would not have been ambitious enough for kite flying.

This weekend is thought to be the 100th celebration of Father’s Day this Sunday, June 20.  Professor Geoffrey Greif, PhD, of the University of Maryland School of Social Work, offers some tips for being better fathers. I am sure though, it is advice all parents can all learn from:

1. Children need STRUCTURE. Structure includes consistency, reliability, and meeting expectations. Children need to know what time dinner will be, what time bedtime will be, what the rules are for homework, and the rules for playing outside. We can be flexible occasionally, but children need parents to set the structure and stick to it.
2. Be Respectful. The way we treat women and our daughters teaches them what they can expect from men in their lives, and it teaches sons how to treat women. Treating the mother of our child with respect, even if we disagree with her behavior or her lifestyle, is a way of treating our child with respect
3. Healthy Choices. Fathers must role model taking care of ourselves and making healthy choices. If we get to a good place ourselves with all we do, we can get to a good place with our children and set expectations for them. We have to walk the walk before we talk the talk.
4. Gray Matters. Role model for children that life is not all black and white, there is a lot of gray in it and room for improvement. No man is perfect; no father is perfect. If we try too hard to be perfect we end up teaching our children that it is not okay to struggle and sometimes fail. We also need to role model that relationships between adults are not always smooth but often can be worked out.
5. Share Spirituality.If we are spiritual, share that. Spirituality is not related to any one religion. It is related to a belief that something unique lives within us that can spark others and live on for generations. It is a belief that there is something bigger than us that can be harnessed for healing.
6. Be Human. Being a good parent does not always mean trying to toughen up our child and being a strict disciplinarian. It does not always mean putting on a tough face inside the house when a tough face is needed outside the house. We can teach our children to be warm and loving to others. That is part of what it means to be a man. Continue reading »

I guess my kid is super human

 Posted by Tracy on June 16, 2010  General  2 Responses »
Jun 162010
 

I was speaking to Paris about the fact that the brain is not capable of multi-tasking. It has been proven that the brain can only effectively focus on one activity at a time. And each activity that is put on the brain, the more inefficient the brain becomes at accomplishing any of them, let alone doing them accurately.

I wanted to share that information with Paris because I wanted her to not wind up like me and attempt to pile too much on my plate all the time. Because frankly it’s madness. And the worst part about it is is that because I am an organizer and have awesome systems in place that allow me to be on top of things more than the average bear, I use that as an excuse to pile more on my plate.

When I told Paris that the brain was capable of only handling one activity at a time, her response was, “Well my brain can handle four. I hoola hooped, drank water, watched tv and shook my wrist at the same the other day.” Now how do you tell a 2nd grader that just did all that at the same time that she really can’t effectively? This will probably be a gotta learn the hard way type of kid. I have no idea where she gets that from. Continue reading »

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Persistence – It Works!

 Posted by Bruce on June 16, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 162010
 

A recent e-mail from my oldest friend, a college professor, stimulated me to reflect on how we search and find work, as well as in small business how we promote and sell ourselves. On this subject, I’ve observed my teen son’s failed efforts to find a summer job. And, finally, I’ve thought about my own recent efforts in designing and launching my own website. For me, throughout my life, there was only one thing that worked and it was persistence. I believe, especially in our present economic times, persistence is the primary thing that works.

My old friend the professor had a whole list of very sharp suggestions on how I could better brand (contemporary slang for identifying yourself or your company, as with Nike’s swoosh) my site, my work, and myself. They ranged from hiring a consultant to doing informational interviewing, as well as developing an “elevator speech” (means exactly what you’d expect—a short enough description of your work that could be told in an elevator ride), and much more. As I read and digested his suggestions, I was struck by the fact that my initial reaction was “this is just too much work” and “I like my style better.”

And, what is my style? It’s in-your-face persistence. It’s not taking “No” for an answer and not letting my ego get in the way of following up, repeatedly, on warm leads, to quote my wife’s real estate term for someone who seems interested, but hasn’t committed. This is what I tried to teach my teen son, who just made a lazy and hardly serious effort to find a job when, in these times, he’s literally competing with adults who are looking for minimum wage filler jobs. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Father’s Day, 2010

 Posted by Bruce on June 15, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 152010
 

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

Father’s Day, 2010

Father’s Day for me is now a melancholy experience. I certainly appreciate the attention that I get from my two boys and my wife. My younger son tends to make an artistic gift for me, since he’s the artist of the family, while my older one will scribble some sweet sentiments on a piece of scrap or notebook paper, and my wife will usually make me a glorious meal of my choosing.

While I appreciate all this love showered my way, I also get melancholy over the memory of my late father, who was a wonderful man. I’ve written about him before, but I want to always keep his memory present in my mind and the minds of my boys.

Writing about my dad for his eulogy was not as difficult as some might think. My sentiments and praises came easy, just as being such a loving, good man seemed to come easy for him. He was from that “Greatest Generation” though he didn’t serve in the armed forces during World War II, due to the military deferments because he had just had a son and his particular occupation was much needed on the home front. Continue reading »

When Someone You Love is Grieving

 Posted by MicheleN on June 14, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 142010
 

Death is an inevitable part of the circle of life. Yet the final separation of one loved one from another often leaves bystanders feeling helpless, and maybe at a loss for what to say or how to help those who are left behind. When my husband died in an accident almost five years ago, I couldn’t think of one single thing that anyone could do to ease my pain. I felt as though half my body had been ripped away without warning; leaving me in a state of shock and aching to put my arms around the man I loved. In the face of this kind of pain, what is a friend to do? How can you reach out to someone who doesn’t answer the phone? When is insisting to help overstepping a boundary? Is there any practical thing that will ease the pain of someone who is grieving the loss of a spouse, a parent, a child, a friend? Should we mention the name of the person who has died, or does that inflict additional pain?  Here are a few suggestions for small kindnesses that do make a difference when reaching out to someone grieving the loss of someone they love.

1.)    Speak from your heart.  Words do matter, and shared memories of a loved one are priceless. If you remember something specific about the person who has died please share your memories. Being told stories we have never heard about the loved ones we have lost is a gift that validates the impact their life had on others.

2.)    Be yourself. Speak in a way and behave in a way that is natural for you. Continue the same relationship you had before: close friend, acquaintance, friendly neighbor, or friend of a friend. Offer help only if you are able to follow through, and in a way that makes sense in your life. Can you drive the carpool? Offer to drop off a meal? Mow the lawn once a week without even knocking on the door? Take the kids for a play date for the afternoon? Small kindnesses go a long way. Continue reading »

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