Voices In Your Head

There are voices in your head. And mine. Everyone’s. I consider myself a positive person so imagine my dismay at how many negative voices I heard in my own head once I really started paying attention.  What else did I discover? The negative thoughts were almost 100% of the time directed at…myself.

I realized that I was talking to myself (in my head and sometimes under my breath) in a mean manner I would never talk to anyone, not a friend, not my child, not even a stranger. Now I am not going to say that I am miraculously cured and this never, ever happens anymore.

Instead, I will just say that I notice it now, I catch myself, and then I frequently think: “You dummy, you are doing it again.” Then I remind myself to be nice and talk as if I were talking to my child or my best friend. Things have gotten better, mostly.

Sometimes though I need a little help. So now I turn to some books to help me along, occasionally I go on Youtube and check out a video from say Tony Robbins or Wayne Dyer or I pick up a book like The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.

These people might not be your people, they might not be voices you want in your head. I just suggest you come up with a good list of books or videos or podcasts. I also am a quote person. I know this might not be your thing. Some people call them mantras or affirmations. Currently, I am enjoying reading Louise Haye’s daily affirmations, frequently I check out Daily Zen. I have some mantras I have heard and written down. One is: “Every mistake is a rebirth.” I keep this one handy to tell myself when I make a mistake and I feel terrible.

Also there is an African Proverb that goes something like:  “The path is made by walking.”

This reminds me to keep moving forward (even slowly) when I really feel like going and laying in traffic.

I am still experimenting with different voices. I like to go to the library so I can return the “voices” that don’t work for me. You can do it, too. What are the voices in your head? Kick out the bad ones and then tell yourself:

“Good job, friend.”

For more information, tips, and news on single parenting, check out my blog www.singleparentsavings.wordpress.com