The other day while walking the track at our local park I watched the dads play with their kids. It was a simple and wonderful sight. One dad had a kite and two kids, one just about 18 months another 3 or 4. Together they launched the kite in the air and the baby toddled around and laughed. I was in awe of them, for with two that age I would not have been ambitious enough for kite flying.
This weekend is thought to be the 100th celebration of Father’s Day this Sunday, June 20. Professor Geoffrey Greif, PhD, of the University of Maryland School of Social Work, offers some tips for being better fathers. I am sure though, it is advice all parents can all learn from:
1. Children need STRUCTURE. Structure includes consistency, reliability, and meeting expectations. Children need to know what time dinner will be, what time bedtime will be, what the rules are for homework, and the rules for playing outside. We can be flexible occasionally, but children need parents to set the structure and stick to it.
2. Be Respectful. The way we treat women and our daughters teaches them what they can expect from men in their lives, and it teaches sons how to treat women. Treating the mother of our child with respect, even if we disagree with her behavior or her lifestyle, is a way of treating our child with respect
3. Healthy Choices. Fathers must role model taking care of ourselves and making healthy choices. If we get to a good place ourselves with all we do, we can get to a good place with our children and set expectations for them. We have to walk the walk before we talk the talk.
4. Gray Matters. Role model for children that life is not all black and white, there is a lot of gray in it and room for improvement. No man is perfect; no father is perfect. If we try too hard to be perfect we end up teaching our children that it is not okay to struggle and sometimes fail. We also need to role model that relationships between adults are not always smooth but often can be worked out.
5. Share Spirituality.If we are spiritual, share that. Spirituality is not related to any one religion. It is related to a belief that something unique lives within us that can spark others and live on for generations. It is a belief that there is something bigger than us that can be harnessed for healing.
6. Be Human. Being a good parent does not always mean trying to toughen up our child and being a strict disciplinarian. It does not always mean putting on a tough face inside the house when a tough face is needed outside the house. We can teach our children to be warm and loving to others. That is part of what it means to be a man. Continue reading »