You Tube’s Fred

 Posted by Tracy on June 30, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 302010
 

Have you seen him? Fred Figglehorn on YouTube. Have you seen him? Ok, I will admit Fred is my guilty pleasure and Paris’s number one channel she watches on YouTube. He is a ficitonal character made up by a young teenager named Lucas Cruikshank from Nebraska who portrays a 6-year-old from a dysfunctional home life and has “anger management issues”. These simply made and hysterical videos were the first to reach the 1,000,000 mark within a year of first arriving on the scene. Fred is my YouTube hero.

Being that we just moved into our new place, we just got cable. Until we did, Fred was constantly on. His tag line, “Hey, it’s Fred” in his high pitched, sped up and over the top entertaining voice permeated throughout my house much like Sponge Bob did before she discovered Fred. And if it wasn’t on the computer, Paris loves to just randomly walk up to me, toe to toe, all 3 ft whatever, stare up at me with her red hair and freckles and a big cheezy grin and say, “Hey, it’s Fred.” Not only that, but my 13 year old client had one of his t-shirts that she gave to Paris which of course she loves. It’s Fred’s world around here and I’m part annoyed and amused at the same time.

I must admit, I do feel a bit guilty at times letting her watch them because they offer no educational value. It feels like as a parent that we are constantly in a position of allowing or denying our children exposure to different things. And if I went along with a more conservative approach to raising my daughter then I might think letting her watch videos like this may contribute to her being undernourished emotionally and mentally as a child and could contribute to later issues in life. But I tend to think that there is value even in this ridiculousness and wackiness depending on how you look at it. Continue reading »

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Do YOU Keep Secrets (from your partner)?

 Posted by Bruce on June 29, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 292010
 

Do You Keep Secrets From Your Spouse?

Is it ever okay to keep a secret from your spouse? If so, what secrets are okay and which are not? I would suggest there are times where a so-called “white lie” is a good thing while most of the time honesty is truly the best policy.

An example of a good “white lie” is the ubiquitous situation in which a wife asks her husband, “Am I looking fat?” or “How do I look in this dress?” We men know there’s only one answer, really: “You look great, Honey,” or some version of that.

Yes, that is funny, but many life situations are not. Blended families pose their own unique challenges, especially when both partners bring children to that blend. Children naturally feel closer to their biological parent. Sometimes a biological child in a blended family will want to tell his or her mother or father something without it being revealed to their stepparent. I think this is an example of when keeping a secret may be okay. Continue reading »

Choosing the Positive

 Posted by Brooke on June 28, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 282010
 

It can be easy to see everything that is stacked up against you. Money is tight, you work too much, the housework is never ending. You have two choices – you can see it as a challenge to overcome, or you can feel sorry for yourself.

If you consciously choose the positive mindset, it will start to come naturally. Before you let something weigh you down, take a moment and think of your options. Do you want to be angry and sad or do you want to take action and be happy? Being a single parent has unique challenges. Instead of dwelling on them, come up with unique solutions, and the world will start to look brighter!

Last week my son turned ten years old. Last week was also my son’s week with his father. Somehow the stars have always aligned in my favor, and I have had the pleasure of being the custodial parent so far on every birthday until this year. It broke my heart to think that my son may not get the same special birthday treatment at his dad’s house that I would give him. So I had two choices – I could let it bring me down, or I could choose the positive and come up with a good alternative. I chose the positive. Continue reading »

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – The Teen Years Ain’t No Picnic!

 Posted by Bruce on June 27, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 272010
 

My wife dragged me to her church for an all-day seminar called “Turbulence Ahead–Parenting Teens Through the Bumpy Years.” I went along, in support of her and in support of her recent “turbulence” with our oldest son, who is 16½ and a handful. But, my initial reaction was that this was a long time to spend on a subject that I know pretty well.

At the seminar, it was quickly evident that my knowledge on the subject could certainly use a refresher, if not a full-on course. Within minutes, I grabbed the pen that we were given and I began taking notes. I ran out of space and in no time, I filled up the supplied notes sections of the program brochure.

The seminar was led and created by Mark Gregston, who is the host of “Parenting Today’s Teens,” a daily and weekend radio program heard nationally. He is the founder of Heartlight, a residential counseling center for adolescents in crisis and the author of several books. His credentials could fill this column, plus he’s an engaging speaker with a good sense of humor and self-deprecation vs. arrogance that some so-called experts display. As I see myself as a “layman expert,” I was appreciative of this approach and found the seminar enlightening. Continue reading »

Voices In Your Head

 Posted by Lisa on June 25, 2010  General  2 Responses »
Jun 252010
 

There are voices in your head. And mine. Everyone’s. I consider myself a positive person so imagine my dismay at how many negative voices I heard in my own head once I really started paying attention.  What else did I discover? The negative thoughts were almost 100% of the time directed at…myself.

I realized that I was talking to myself (in my head and sometimes under my breath) in a mean manner I would never talk to anyone, not a friend, not my child, not even a stranger. Now I am not going to say that I am miraculously cured and this never, ever happens anymore.

Instead, I will just say that I notice it now, I catch myself, and then I frequently think: “You dummy, you are doing it again.” Then I remind myself to be nice and talk as if I were talking to my child or my best friend. Things have gotten better, mostly. Continue reading »

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Is There Shame Anymore?

 Posted by Bruce on June 25, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jun 252010
 

Before I delve into the subject of “Shame,” I want to share some news of which I’m very unashamed and proud. I have a new radio show called “The Bruce Sallan Show–A Dad’s Point-of-View,” which is inspired, if not actually based, on my columns. It is broadcast on KZSB AM1290, The Santa Barbara News Press Radio Station, and can be heard “live” on Thursdays from 11:00 a.m. 12:00 p.m., PST with re-broadcasts each Thursday evening from 9:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m., PST and Saturdays from 12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m, PST. The show is available to hear on the Internet anywhere in the world via “live streaming,” which is accessible on my web-site (brucesallan.com). Each show is archived, also on my web-site, for listening anytime, without commercials.

Right now, the format of the show is in five segments. The first one features me introducing each show, giving the call-in and e-mail information, taking calls, and presenting each week’s topic. What follows next are three segments, each with different guests, “The Men’s Room,” “Teen Rap,” and “Single Parent Seeking.” The last segment is me, again, wrapping up the show with a summary of what was discussed, more calls and e-mail, and a peek or tease about next week’s show.

It’s a fun and challenging new venue for my views on parenthood, marriage, teens, boys, gender issues, and all the other things I like to write about. I hope that you’ll tune in sometime, listen to the archived shows, and call or e-mail if you’re particularly interested in a given show’s topic. Continue reading »

I am Blessed to Have Supportive Kids

 Posted by Bill on June 24, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jun 242010
 

I think that as parents, especially single parents, we spend so much time wanting to be supportive of our kids. Maybe it’s because we only see them so often, or maybe because we worry about how being raised by a single parent might affect them later on in life.

Webster defines support as:

to bear or hold up ; serve as a foundation for.   Continue reading »
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