Since it is Friday and the weekend is upon us, I thought that I would share with you a job description that a friend of mine recently shared with me. I have posted this blog once before but believe that it it is worth repeating. I hope that it brings a smile to your face and starts your weekend off on the right foot. It is hilarious and something we can all relate to.
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Continue reading »
My wife took me to see Nancy Meyers’ new movie, “It’s Complicated,” which stars Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin. She had seen it a day or two before and wanted to see it with me saying, “It would be good for us.” Honestly, I do tend to like what is typically labeled “chick flicks” but don’t like director Nancy Meyers’ perfect world, perfect rich characters, perfect looking people, dressed and coifed just perfectly. But, for the sake of marital harmony, I agreed.
I didn’t expect what followed. Throughout the movie, my wife was jabbing me in the ribs whenever she wanted me to notice a point being made that she felt related to me or us. So, I left with bruised ribs, which ached even more toward the end of the movie during the one, truly hilarious scene. I really enjoyed laughing that hard, in spite of the pained ribs, which I’ve totally exaggerated for sympathy anyway.
Without a doubt, the best thing about the movie is that comic scene near the end. “It’s Complicated” is also that rare movie title that really works and has so many other relevant meanings related to life, marriage, raising kids, and even a facebook status. Continue reading »
In Katrina Kenison’s book A Gift of An Ordinary Day, she writes that raising her two sons was like trying to grow a cactus and a fern in the same pot.
“Exactly!” I thought when I read that line.
Each child is an individual. I know they are not supposed to be the same. I often tell my boys different people and things make the world an interesting place. But, the degree of their differences is at times memsmerizing to me. One son is very similar in personality to me, I see myself in his preteen being in so many ways–his actions, his thought processes, his cautiousness. My other son, I am learning has a thought and emotional process far different from mine. He is expressive and highly active. When I try to parent him the same as his brother, well, we don’t get very far before things ignite. Continue reading »
Today is my 4th official day in my new car. It’s a 2000, Audi A6, 2.8. Tan leather interior, sunroof, Bose stereo system, and so many other conveniences that I didn’t even know existed. The best part is I managed to manifest (as I am the QUEEN of manifesting) the sweetest deal. Lease to own option through a private party who is the father of one of my clients. No interest, no money down. Unbelievable right? Not for me. That’s how my life rolls. And those closest to me can attest to that.
So I’m driving the other day and feeling like a superstar badass. And I glanced back at Paris sitting on the leather interior. In that instance, I experienced a feeling that was only defined for me yesterday by a brillant, psychologist friend of mine. What I felt was a sensation of having provided well for her. Like she’s being really taken care of. I also felt a peace that she was safe.
My previous car was a 2007 Jeep Liberty that I leased. I really loved that thing but it’s been in the past year or so that I was over it. And here’s the thing I did not consciously know that I felt so unstable in the Jeep (especially going around corners) until I drove the Audi. The Audi is a very very smooth ride. It hugs the corners and has an amazing control that I’ve never experienced before. Continue reading »
Teen energy, angst, and anger manifest itself in so many ways. Every day it seems that we read about some teen that has done something unusually self-destructive, and occasionally destructive to others. Columbine was an extreme example of this. Many so-called “normal” teens tend to use or abuse the ol’ standbys of drinking, drugs, and sex to handle these emotions and changes. For my own 16-year-old, his reaction has been mostly anger. The irony is that I’ve found this to be both good and bad.
How hormones affect the average teen have been studied and documented, but no one really knows definitively their effect since each teen reacts in different ways. The same is true for most women’s experience with menopause, as my wife has suffered horribly while for her mother it was a blip on the screen of her mid-life. Will has done a little of the aforementioned “standbys” stated above, to some degree. But he’s done nothing extraordinary, over-the-top, or that different from all teens with the possible exception of his recent angry moods.
When I say moods, I mean moods. Let’s try a few descriptive words: sullen, quiet, loud, belligerent, intransigent, stubborn, willful, explosive. His impulsive behavior got him in a mess of trouble when he posted a mean-spirited comment on Facebook. The backlash, as it instantaneously circulated among all his friends and peers, was stunning. It nearly de-railed Will’s wonderful eight-month relationship with his girlfriend, as all her friends got involved, taking sides, and giving his minor comment a true life of its own. Continue reading »
My husband LOVED shoes. Phillip owned shoes for all occasions and athletic events—some were kept only for their sentimental value. To him, each pair either served a purpose or told a story, so there was no getting rid of them. This caused a serious storage issue. In addition to his side of the closet, he claimed the entire space under our bed. According to my husband, shoes could not be stacked, which meant the entire perimeter of the bed was lined with shoes. My shoes were piled in the closet in order to make more room for his.
When Phillip died, each pair of shoes became a reminder of something about him or about us that I missed. His favorite pair of trail shoes, still covered with dust from his last run, recalled the happy hours we shared running together on mountain trails. I missed the time we spent exercising together and enjoying the beauty of the outdoors. Racing flats brought memories of him crossing one of many finish lines, sometimes with a smile of triumph, other times with a look of disbelief, always with the determination of a person who loved to run. I missed his competitive spirit, and the surprising heights to which he regularly pushed me. A pair of vintage Nike’s were a particular favorite of his—causing more than one heated discussion when he pulled them out with his party attire. The despised dress shoes always made me smile, because they required dusting before being worn. Still, they were a necessity, and they had their place in the line up under our bed.
How could I part with all those shoes? I knew it had to be done, but just moving them to a new location required baby steps. Each time I picked up a pair, I relived the story they told and put them right back where they were with tears in my eyes. This dilemma felt like an unsolvable puzzle: to not only let go of the shoes, but to do it in a way that would exemplify my husband’s love for them. The shoes became memory keepers and I feared that letting go of the shoes would also mean letting go of the memories. Continue reading »
Everyone has heard the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.” As a single parent your village is even more important. Your village becomes your family; the people that you rely on to help you and child. When you are a single parent, especially when you are not in close proximity of actual relatives, the family that you create for yourself is critical to you and your child’s well being.
Last week I thanked my single parent support team publically for being my friend during those first few years of being a mom. Somewhere along the way, these friends became family and new friends joined the family. I may be a single mom, but I am certainly not alone. My biological family may live 200 miles away, but I always have family close by to turn to when I need to feel that familial support. But most importantly, my son has that large family experience that many children of single parents miss out on.
Christian has benefited in so many ways from our extended chosen family. He has learned to ride ATV’s, gotten to experience river rafting, and learned to ride a bicycle. He has had many consistent positive male influences in his life even when I have not. Christian has a gazillion auntie’s and uncle’s chosen because they are great people, and not just because we are related by blood. Christian has other kids in his life who act as little sisters and older brothers, and teach him the importance of give and take and compromise even though I only have one child. Continue reading »
