No More Multitasking

 Posted by Lisa on March 19, 2010  General  1 Response »
Mar 192010
 

Do you ever have so much to do you don’t know what to do first? Every day, right? But the pressure of trying to run around to get everything done just makes life so frenetic and un-peaceful. I used to think I was a master multitasker and spent a lot of time making everything “perfect” (or being stressed out when it was not), but I have learned to let that go (mostly) and now my life is calmer and much more peaceful.

I decided when the kids were born I wanted to be “present.” I read a lot of books and watched a lot of shows about it. I did a pretty good job, I thought. Then after I became a single parent I realized I wasn’t quite as present as I thought I was with the kids. I frequently was thinking of work when we were together and when I worked I was thinking of the kids. Then I missed them like crazy when they were visiting their dad. Still there was so much to do. I needed some help and it wasn’t something I could pay for.

Enter the “Flylady” and a timer. I previously had checked out www.flylady.net after reading about it in a magazine.  Basically, it is an on-line system that teaches you to clean, or so I thought. But really the program, with its free website and daily emails, help you organize your life. The best part is you jump in where you are and you don’t fret about what you haven’t done. Every day you start again in a no pressure way. It is a gent approach to better living, minus the perfection and the multitasking. Continue reading »

Chuck E. Cheese Insane or Genius?

 Posted by Tracy on March 17, 2010  General  No Responses »
Mar 172010
 

I went to a birthday party last week to to celebrate my friend’s son turning two.  Now, I have been to Chuck E. Cheese since I was a kid. In fact, I almost worked there for my very first job but somehow I wound up at Jack in the Box where I met my future ex-fiancee. And I’ve seen it pretty busy. But on this day, it was INSANELY busy. The blare of video games, screaming children and singing from the Chuck E. ensemble almost knocked me down when we walked in the door. I swear this place is like Vegas for kids. A sort of pleasure island for shorties. My first reaction was to run away but of course I couldn’t do that or I would face the wrath and disappointment of a 4 foot something red head. So I marched on, smile on face and turned my patience meter up high.

Our time spent was mixed with frustration and fun. Fun because I still LOVE video games. I’m a Ms. Pacman and Galaga girl myself. Digressing into memory. I remember before school every day, my mom would take my sister and I to a donut shop. And in this donut shop was Galaga. I freggin loved eating my donut and playing Galaga before school. Maybe that’s why I was such a good student. Hmmmmm. Snapping back into present. Fun because I love watching Paris have fun. I love watching her play the basketball game. She’s actually quite good at it. And who doesn’t love seeing all those tickets come out? Is it just me or does anyone else know the trick of getting more tickets? Ok, I’ll tell you but don’t tell Chuck E. I don’t need that big mouse after me. When the tickets come out you tug on them just a little bit so you get more. Only problem is the last few times I’ve attempted it, it didn’t work. So I think they caught on. Dang! But it was also frustrating because when we went to go turn in the tickets after putting them into the ever so clever munching machine, we waited in line for 15 minutes. 15 MINUTES!!!!

Which brings me to my point. I’m wondering if the guy who invented Chuck E. Cheese loved his parents or secretly hated them and took his anger out by building a place where parents would have to go, get wacked over the head with a constant barrage of loud sounds or accidentally hit over the head with the wack-a-mole hammer. Not only that but face the guilt when their kid, with a crack addict look in their eyes, comes begging for more coins and we say no it’s time to go. How about dealing with the anxiety with losing your kid in a sea of other kids? Ya, I know they have that whole stamp your wrist with a fluorescent number thing, but I’ve watched people walk right past the door attendant when they weren’t looking so I don’t know how safe that method is. And if you are there for a birthday party, you’ll have to put up with the spaz attack your kid will have after downing fruit punch, cotton candy, cake and lollipops. Continue reading »

Take the Brain Damage Out of Packing Your Child’s Lunch

 Posted by Julie on March 16, 2010  Nutrition, Organizing  2 Responses »
Mar 162010
 

Need help packing healthy lunches for the kiddos?

The first step is to get organized.

Join me as I show you how to pack a yummy meal…without all the brain damage.

Continue reading »

A Dad’s Point-of-View – Do Men Have Strong Emotional Support in Their Lives?

 Posted by Bruce on March 16, 2010  General  1 Response »
Mar 162010
 

Do men really have good support for emotional issues, on a regular basis? When a man reaches a certain age and he’s depressed, he’s struggling with his place in the world, he’s going through family problems or a divorce, or financial and job worries, etc., where can he turn? Add into the mix that he’s a single dad and has no immediate family around and you have my situation, a few years ago.

When my marriage first broke up, I was blessed to find a circle of men that supported and guided me through the horrible ups and downs that followed. No, it wasn’t some beer-drinking group of women-haters, nor a drumming in Indian war paint Robert Bly-type of thing. It was regular men, with regular problems, getting together and talking about the real stuff.

I’ve stayed with this group, through various incarnations of men leaving and joining, for going on eight years now. Unlike the stereotype beliefs of men’s groups, ours completely supports parenting and a man’s relationship with his spouse and children. But, unfortunately, this is unusual, as men don’t tend to maintain their close male relationships after they marry, have children, and get further into their careers. Continue reading »

 Permalink  Posted by Patrick on March 15, 2010  General  No Responses »
Mar 152010
 

BLENDED FAMILIES ARE A REAL CHALLENGE

How hard is it to elegantly pull off BLENDED FAMILIES?

It is not easy to blend families; as a matter of fact it can be downright messy! I am reminded of the old SNL “BASSOMATIC” skit.

Hell it isn’t all that easy to raise kids within one family unit. Now you are bringing in a whole different set of influencers and “influencees”.

If you have not considered the challenge, take a look at the blended family and all of the influencers in that family: Dad1 and Dad2 (Stepdad).Mom1 and Mom2 (Stepmom).Kid(s) from Mom1 and Dad1 go to Mom2 or Dad2 (and the various permutations on this theme).Add to that mix kid(s) from Dad1 and Mom1. Continue reading »

Reinventing Quality Time

 Posted by Brooke on March 14, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Getting Your New Life In Order, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  1 Response »
Mar 142010
 

There has been a lot of talk this week about spending quality time with your kids. Everyone must be feeling the same emotional yearning I am to slow down time and stop their kids from rapidly growing up. As children get older and have priorities of their own, your quality time with your child may seem less and less.

When I first started this single parent journey over 7 years ago, I was determined to not be that stereotypical single mom that Hollywood so often portrayed. You know the one…she is always frazzled and on the go, dinners consist of leftovers being heated up and thrown on the table, and the only face to face time she gets with her kids is the kiss good-bye as she is running out the door to her night job. I knew the life I had just left was not the life I wanted, but the stereotypical single mom life certainly wasn’t what I wanted either. I didn’t just want quality time with my son, I needed it. There had to be another way, and I was determined to figure it out.

My son was two when I left his father. I moved only a few blocks away so that sharing custody would be as easy as possible. In those first few years we switched parenting nights every-other day. And every-other day when I picked my son up from daycare, everything else in the world was pushed aside. This was my time with my son; he was my only care in the world for those hours few precious hours between daycare and bedtime. Nothing else took precedence. I was determined to be the opposite of those Hollywood stereotypes. We would have quality mom and son time. I was going to be a fun mom, no matter how exhausted I was. I would pick up my son, and the adventure began. Continue reading »

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We’re In This Together

 Posted by Lisa on March 12, 2010  General  1 Response »
Mar 122010
 

Last night after dinner, as the final fork was put down my sons scattered like dandelion wishes in the wind.
“What are we supposed to do now?” I called after them.
“Clean up,” they responded in unison.
And then they cleared their plates. Seconds later I looked over at the sink in our tiny kitchen piled high with dishes, and pot and pans, and surrounded by the remnants of dinner fixings like the butter dish and olive oil bottles. How can three people have so many things for one meal–a meal that is usually done in less than 15 minutes?

“It is a lot,” my younger son agreed with a shake of his head.

“I need some more help,” I said. Continue reading »

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