I will be the first to admit that I haven’t always operated with etiquette. Most of the time, it has been out of simple un-awareness rather than refusal. I do tend to be a bit of a rule breaker so following etiquette isn’t always my cup of tea. Table manners is where I needed the most help. Call it the bohemian in me but I would rather eat with my hands, sit with my legs crossed and put my elbows on the table. Ok, so maybe I haven’t taken petite sized bites either. I once had a former romantic interest tell me, several months after our first date that my table manners were almost a deal breaker for him. Oh man was I horrified but so grateful he told me that because again, I was totally unaware and of course now am totally focused on having good table manners. Don’t judge.
I remember I went to lunch at an upscale restaurant with a friend, a former chef and although I was embarrassed and somewhat resistant, I asked him to teach me the whole dinner and salad fork etiquette thing (imagine pretty woman,ya that was me except for the hooker part). The salad came and as instructed, I ate the salad with the salad fork. Ok, I’m doing good. No gypsy woman today. Then the lunch came and then about half way through I realized I was eating it with the salad fork. My first reaction (inside of course) was oh no, I’m eating this lunch with the salad fork, oh the horror. Then my rebel self, I call her Roxy, kicked in and thought, “This whole salad and dinner fork thing is the stupidest rule I’ve ever heard of and who the hell made up this rule in the first place?” Reluctantly, I switched to the dinner fork and proceeded to eat my lunch, all the while, cursing this rule under my breath. I was surprised by my reaction. Later on, I went to my life coach and told her that I wasn’t happy having to play by these rules. She then helped me to see that when I “Choose” to be in certain environments, to see it like a game. And there are certain rules that I need to follow should I choose to play that game or be in that environment. She pointed out, that I wouldn’t have to use the same etiquette if I went to a hamburger joint as I would an upscale restaurant. Which means I can let not only my bohemian side be expressed but also play socialite/debutante chick too from time. I’ve learned for me that if I have to inhibit any part of myself for too long, then all hell will break loose. So I now give myself opportunities to let all aspects of myself get expressed.
With that being said, I have recently also had to teach Paris some better table manners. Of course, I’ve taught her some things but I realized I needed to teach her more. Paris isn’t one who likes to be told what to do (I have no idea where she got that from..lol). So sometimes when I teach her, I have to do it in a way that is more like a game. For this purpose, I decided to use my trainings at Frontier Trainings where we got into character in order to play the games. So I created three characters: Bad Manners Betty, Medium McKenna (Paris named this one) and Proper Penny. Here’s what I did. Continue reading »
