As many of you know, the body of 17 year old, Chelsea King was found yesterday. She was from the local community of Poway. When I first heard the news, I started to pray right away and always kept her in my thoughts. I prayed not only for the safe return of her but I also prayed for the hearts of her parents. The suffering they must be experiencing at this time is one I can’t even begin to fathom and it brings tears to my eyes and a pain in my chest to even think about. The first thing I did when I saw my daughter, after hearing the news, was to hug her as tight as I could and count my blessings that I was holding the person that mattered the most to me in this world.
To think that all Chelsea was doing was simply running, an activity that I’m sure brought her great joy. She wasn’t out partying, she wasn’t drunk driving, she wasn’t acting careless in any way. Some would say that she shouldn’t have been running alone. It makes me sick to think that a young woman can’t run alone these days without fear of being raped and murdered. Really?
I remember the days when I was a young girl and how me and my buddies use to go out on to the cul-de-sac and play until it was night. I never worried about anything bad happening. And the parents back then, I’m sure didn’t have as much fear that anything bad would happen either. Now, I can’t even walk through a crowded area and let my daughter get too far away from me without fearing someone will grab her and run away faster than I can chase them. And it really bothers me because I like to let my daughter feels as though she has some sense of freedom without feeling like I’m too far away but not totally over-protecting her either. But today’s world almost forces us to have to be more over protective than may be necessary. And that just frankly sucks.
I had a very very brief experience of what it feels like to possibly lose a child. Certainly nowhere near the level that Chelsea’s parents are experiencing yet it was enough to immediately cause me to feel like without her I couldn’t see how it would be possible to go on. We were at the beach last summer and both playing in the waves. I started to get cold and she, being the polar bear that she is, wanted to stay in. So I got out of the water and stood from the shore to watch her. I saw her, I saw her, I saw her, I let my attention slip for what seemed only a few seconds as she was gone and then immediate panic sunk in.
I first started walking quickly towards the water, fully expecting to see her little head of red hair to come bobbing up from behind the waves. But I didn’t. Then my heart started racing as I was calling her name, still sure I would see her, but nothing. Then I thought, “Oh my God, she’s drowned.” Then I started screaming her name and crying. A couple of people saw how upset I was, came over, realized my daughter was missing then went to go get a lifeguard. The images that went through my mind were ones that I don’t even want to repeat. As I started turning my body a different direction, I finally laid my eyes on her. Not only had the current carried her the opposite direction, but she ran into a friend and had gone over to them. I was them consumed with sheer relief and anger at the same time. Angry that she would move out of my line of vision without thinking of the consequences and even more angry with myself that I just didn’t stay in the water with her. Needless to say, I will never do that again. I may not make the smartest choices sometimes, but I do always learn from my mistakes.
How does a parent even begin to deal with the loss of a child? Especially if the loss happened over something that could have been prevented. In Chelsea’s case, could she have run in a different area, sure? Could she have run with a partner, absolutely? But the sad thing is, if it wasn’t her, it would of been someone else who would have died at the hands of this monster.
I think the best thing we can do as parents, if teach our kids what to look out for and how to protect themselves if something happens. After this, I’m seriously considering having Paris and I both take self defense classes. A really great resource to teach children about stranger safety is a video done by Adam Walsh and Baby Einstein’s creator Julie Clark called Stranger Safety. This helps children understand that just because the person is someone they “kinda know” like a soccer coach doesn’t necessarily mean they are their “Safe Side Adult.” It’s done in a really funny and entertaining way. Even I learned a lot watching it.
My heart goes out to the friends and family of Chelsea. I pray their hearts will heal quickly and I pray that justice will be served.