You know the saying, “The only two things you can count on is death and taxes?”  Well, I declare I would like to add a third thing you can count on.  Change.  There is not a person I  know that isn’t going through some sort of change right now. Some major and some minor.  I believe that even when something, someone or some circumstance seems bad, in the end it always works out for the greater good of everyone.   It would make your head spin if I told you all of the change I’ve been through in the past 9 months.  It makes me dizzy when I think about it.  No doubt about it one of the most exciting and scariest roller coasters I’ve ever been on.  And it feels like a test.   A test where my higher self is challenging me to make choices that are more in alignment with who I really am.

I think many, many people are feeling the tug to re-evaluate how they have been living their lives and ask themselves what do I really want, who am I really, and am I really happy with the way things are right now? Again, pretty much every person I talk to is at this place.  I especially see it in my organizing clients.  It’s almost as if they “woke up” and realized how much the quality of their life has suffered because of what they allowed to have control in their lives.  Awareness is half the battle.  But once I have the awareness, I have the choice of either doing something about it now or continuing to do what I’ve always done expecting the same results which, of course, is the definition of insanity.   I don’t think the worse part of being aware that something needs to change is not doing anything about it.  The worse part is knowing and refusing to do anything about it.  That’s called a hardknock life and that life is not a cup of tea.

Some people handle change very well, others absolutely crumble.  So the question becomes what is the best way to handle change?  I think the answer is actually very simple, know yourself.   And I guess the question all depends on if you define change good or bad.   I’ve attempted many different ways to deal with change.  Change initially use to freak me out.  My body would physically react to any upset in the way things have been.  The ironic thing is I get really bored when things stay the same.  And it depends where I’m at in my life and how much I’ve grown spiritually that determines how I’m handling the change.  I must admit in my younger years, dealing with change which always felt like it was gargantuan would inspire my destructive habits.  Getting older I realized that I can’t keep handling change in this way so I looked for alternatives.  Over the years here are a few that I stash in my back pocket: Continue reading »

 

Perspective is something that allows us to appreciate our lives, our families, and our country. Lately, with so much bad news surrounding us, and after just returning from Africa where such extreme poverty exists everywhere, I find myself reflecting on one of those “People” magazine-type stories about someone living through a life threatening experience and coming out a changed person. It’s a story I’ve shared with my boys, when they were upset about a trivial matter, as it happened to me in June 2005.

Side view with BJ cropped copy - no date

Driving alone on 395, I fell asleep at the wheel. In the middle of nowhere with only my dog as company, and the cruise control set in the low 70s, I drifted off to sleep as the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon, in spite of a Monster drink (Red Bull equivalent) and in spite of stopping several times to stretch and do some jumping jacks. Lost in thought, I just slipped away to “Neverland.” Well, “Neverland” almost became just that; never more. Continue reading »

 

Much of my life has centered around food.

My mom is a great cook, and I still crave her salmon croquettes, minestrone soup, and her famed pork spareribs with sauerkraut.  That’s right, nothing fancy.  Just pure comfort and home-cooked goodness.

I’m most thankful for how my mom made dinner mandatory family time.  Even when she was a single-mom of three, we shared the day’s events over the evening meal.  When she re-married, and two more siblings came along, dinner was a time to come together and BE a family.  We told stories and laughed.  We celebrated victorious soccer games or perfect trumpet recitals.  And, like most kids, we got into trouble for laughing during grace or launching the world’s biggest food fight.

It was real life, it was family, and it showed me how food brings people together in meaningful ways. Continue reading »

 

Parenting—Is It All Just A Big Rounding Error

I look around and I see the “helicopter parents” hovering over their children as if they are going to clean up “little Johnnie’s” spilled milk before it even hits the ground.

I know a mom who still cuts up and feeds with a fork; her five year old child.
I know parents who won’t let their 13 year old kids go over to friends’ homes for sleep-overs.
I know 23 year old (hell, I know 50 year old) “boys” still living with their parents.
I know a 25 year old college graduate “woman’ still living with mom and dad to “save money”.

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about parents actually going on interviews WITH their recent college graduate children. Continue reading »

 

No, this isn’t about Og Mandino’s classic book.

It’s about my 5 yr old son, Brennan, and his talent for persuasiveness.

Many people talk about how they “aren’t a salesman” or a “salesy type person,” with great pride as if being in sales is a disease to get rid of.

The reality is, we are all in sales.  Some are just in denial. Continue reading »

 

This morning I was scheduled to do my monthly guest interview on The Doug Stephan Good Day Show at 5:06 am. I always love being on Doug’s show for two reasons. One because his show is heard on 400 radio stations nationwide and two, because I never know what Doug is going to ask me. That can be an interesting situation when you are up at 5:06 a.m. At 5:00 a.m. this morning Doug’s people called my people (that would be me since Michaela was still sleeping) and asked if we could move the interview to 7:06 a.m.? Who am I to argue with the host of a show heard by over 3 million people each month. Sure I said, but I will be driving the kids to school so we will need to do it on my cell phone. By the way my cell phone is tied into the speakers on my car. Fine by us they said..

Well right as Jack was getting out of the car for the bus the call came in and the interview began. Michaela is an inspiring journalist so she always loves to hear what questions hosts like to ask of thier guest. Today Doug decided to get my opinion on recent stories in the news dealing with both abortion and marijuana. Buckle up your seat belt Michaela this could get interesting. For times sake I will leave the abortion story for another blog, but having your 13 year old hear co-hosts going off on their beliefs about abortion is interesting, especially as I am sitting outside her Catholic school.

The other story that I was asked to comment on was about a father in California who stated he would much rather have his son smoke pot at home, than do it outside with others. “How would you as a single parent deal with that Bill” Doug inquired. Hmmm I thought for a minute and then I answered with… Does the dad think that if he allows his kid to smoke pot at home they will never do it outside of the home? Does he think that if he allows his kids to drink at home they will never do it outside of the home? Does he believe that if he allows his kids to steal money from his wallet, they will never steal from the local convenience store? What about if the kid steals his car at 2:00 a.m., takes it for a joy ride and wrecks it, will they never take someone elses car? Why does by doing it at home makes it all OK? Continue reading »

 

I just finished reading this article in the New York Times about a single father and his then 4th grade daughter who set out to read together (for ten minutes or more) for 100 nights straight and it turned into a routine that lasted until she went to college (more than 3,000 nights). I love to read with my kids and I really enjoyed this article. I think the consecutive nights of reading (or “streak” as the father-daughter duo refer to it) is a fun idea, but the single parent in me wonders if I could do it every night.

But really, is that the point? I don’t think so. What this single dad found was a way to connect with his daughter on a fun, engaging, and meaningful (not to mention educational) level. They did the project together. In this commitment to the streak, the daughter found stability in a turbulent time in her life. It gave them that something special. We can all do this in our lives (and probably already do on some level.)

A story like this goes to show that it really is the little things (10 minutes a night) that make the most difference. Last summer my boys and I read Old Yeller outloud together. If you have read it lately you’ll remember it is not exactly a potboiler or rollicking good time, like say Harry Potter. I am sure my sons will remember how long it took to read (many, many nights), how the boy in the book did not have a t.v. or hand-held video game and instead had to go out into the woods with his dog to find food for the family. They probably will remember mommy cried (just little) when Old Yeller died. Continue reading »