Talking to your kids about dating and relationships
Frankie Ortega with the Chonicle proposed an interesting question on momhouston.com recently. She asked what do you say to your child after their first break-up.
I can vividly remember those conversations with my kiddos.
The conversations that I had with my kiddos may not be exactly what the therapists recommend but I am a first timer at this dad stuff.
I believe that if my kiddos were writing about their lessons learned on this subject they would offer up something close to the following:
Half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Most all relationships don’t end in marriage; did I really think that a teenage relationship was going to end in marital bliss?
They would also probably say that the above doesn’t keep the hurt from hurting but it does put it all in a certain perspective.
The one thing that I have always tried to do is use every opportunity as a learning opportunity and therefore the dialogue with my guys is always around what would you do differently next time.
It seems that, like so many other parenting scenarios, laying the groundwork prior to the event can make the crisis seem more like a bump in the road.
First, my kiddos witnessed how their mom and I handled the dynamics of relationships; the beginnings and endings and the middle parts too. Surely we were setting an example all along the way. I am certain that at times, if I had not been so self-centered, if I had been more aware that “little eyes were watching” I may have done a better job of it all.
As I have said before “to be a great parent, merely BE the kind of man you want you daughter to marry and your son to become”.
Being more aware in those moments, reminding myself of the above axiom, may have even helped me deal with some of my “less than pleasant relationship events”.
…happy parenting…