A couple weeks ago, I was listening to a radio personality talk about the piece that “60 minutes” did on the large percentage of NFL players that come from American Samoa. Unfortunately, despite thinking to myself that it would be interesting to tune in for that story, I didn’t.
However, this radio personality broke it down for me.
In the end, his take was, the conditions that these guys in American Samoa learn how to, and play football in, cause them to be tougher than many other football players that come from the mainland.
Going beyond that story, and taking into account other aspects of life in America, I often hear that men are not being raised the same way now that our father’s and grandfather’s were.
Myself, being the product of a very much so “tough love” style dad and grandpa, and also a big fan of football, my ears tend to perk when issues like this are raised.
I have certain thoughts about how I would like to raise August. These thoughts are directly related to both the positive and negative that I believe comes out of so called “tough love”.
Do I believe in “tough love”? Yes!
However, I also believe that if you spend a little more time with your children, and are somewhat patient with them, you shouldn’t need to demonstrate “tough love” toward them.
No matter what someone wants to do in life, if they want to be somewhat successful, they have to possess a certain amount of toughness. It’s not something that can be taught. It can be developed though.
If August ever goes and just beats someone up for no reason, or is being a bully in any way, I will let him know that is completely unacceptable. However, if someone is giving him a hard time, I can’t just teach him to be passive. It’s extremely important that I teach him to stand up for himself.
The same goes for me. I will teach him that it’s ok to stand up to me, if he disagrees with anything I am saying or doing. In a healthy manner, of course.
I think that is one of the best ways to develop good self-esteem and confidence.
In the end, I would like August to understand that no one is above him, and no one is beneath him.
Good show! I love the conclusion here. My wee one is pretty physically strong, but I'd like him to grow up realizing that there is strength (and weakness) hidden in unseen places, and that the strongest man knows this of himself and others.
Thanks for sharing this.
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