“No, I didn’t give her a pill.”

Tonight I received a call from Paris’s dad who was quite concerned over a conversation he had with Paris.  I knew as soon as I heard his voice that this was not going to be a fun talk.  Paris told him that her 1st grade teacher had sent home pills for her to take.  Going back in time about a year ago, Paris’s teacher was convinced she has A.D.D.  We had talked about it and she told me she would send Paris home with some natural medication she had given her own daughter to help with a.d.d.  I attempted to give one to Paris but she wouldn’t take it and that was the end of that.  I figured since it was natural there was no harm in giving them to her and if I saw a significant difference in her after taking them for a couple of weeks I would tell her dad and deal with it then. 

Normally, her dad and I discuss everything and come to an agreement on whatever issues need to be worked out.  However, bringing up the topic of A.D.D. always ended up in an argument.  It was something I had long considered might be an issue for her.  After all, her dad was diagnosed with it and I positively tested for it as well (although rare, yes someone who is very organized can have it) so it was safe to assume Paris would have it.  However, he would not accept it and refused discussing putting her on medication.  I was more open to the idea, even though I’m also one to look at more natural remedies and possible other explanations then automatically assuming it’s this over hyped up condition called A.D.D.  So when the idea that she can be helped through natural resources was presented to me, I thought I would test it out and see what happens.

So fast forward to today’s convo and he was quite upset that I didn’t discuss this with him first.  I explained that it was natural and I didn’t give it to her (well technically I did but she didn’t take it).  This put his mind at ease, but I could tell that if I had given her actual meds without his consent he would have lost his damn mind.  And rightfully so.  If the shoe was on the other foot, so would I.  Hell, I get upset when he gets her hair trimmed because my mom is a hairdresser and he knows that she exclusively cuts her hair and how dare he do that behind my back without my consent (sounds even more immature now that I write it) but hey, it’s the principle that matters here.

The fact remains that there is a chance that she has A.D.D. and I struggle with this as a parent.  Because I want to get her the help she needs but I also don’t want to buy into the hype and assume that because she displays certain characteristics that something is “wrong” with her and I need to shove a pill down her throat.  The question is, how do you balance helping your child when others say there is a problem but potentially creating a greater problem versus not buying into the fear and hype and not treating the “problem” and creating future problems for your child because it wasn’t handled.  Ahhhhhhhh.  Not clear on this yet.  But it’s a heavy burden to know that my decision or indecision can permanently affect her young little life in a negative way.  This sucks. 

The good thing is that since her dad has moved back from Kentucky, she is doing much better in school.  So maybe that’s all it was.  All I can do, is just pay attention to her, correct where I can, see her as not broken and love her no matter what and I pray that is the solution and not some stupid pill.  Now me on the other hand, give me the damn pill.

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