Tonight I received a call from Paris’s dad who was quite concerned over a conversation he had with Paris.  I knew as soon as I heard his voice that this was not going to be a fun talk.  Paris told him that her 1st grade teacher had sent home pills for her to take.  Going back in time about a year ago, Paris’s teacher was convinced she has A.D.D.  We had talked about it and she told me she would send Paris home with some natural medication she had given her own daughter to help with a.d.d.  I attempted to give one to Paris but she wouldn’t take it and that was the end of that.  I figured since it was natural there was no harm in giving them to her and if I saw a significant difference in her after taking them for a couple of weeks I would tell her dad and deal with it then. 

Normally, her dad and I discuss everything and come to an agreement on whatever issues need to be worked out.  However, bringing up the topic of A.D.D. always ended up in an argument.  It was something I had long considered might be an issue for her.  After all, her dad was diagnosed with it and I positively tested for it as well (although rare, yes someone who is very organized can have it) so it was safe to assume Paris would have it.  However, he would not accept it and refused discussing putting her on medication.  I was more open to the idea, even though I’m also one to look at more natural remedies and possible other explanations then automatically assuming it’s this over hyped up condition called A.D.D.  So when the idea that she can be helped through natural resources was presented to me, I thought I would test it out and see what happens.

So fast forward to today’s convo and he was quite upset that I didn’t discuss this with him first.  I explained that it was natural and I didn’t give it to her (well technically I did but she didn’t take it).  This put his mind at ease, but I could tell that if I had given her actual meds without his consent he would have lost his damn mind.  And rightfully so.  If the shoe was on the other foot, so would I.  Hell, I get upset when he gets her hair trimmed because my mom is a hairdresser and he knows that she exclusively cuts her hair and how dare he do that behind my back without my consent (sounds even more immature now that I write it) but hey, it’s the principle that matters here. Continue reading »

 

We create our own drama.

I know that’s a hard concept to swallow, but it’s true. We like to think our parenting efforts are geared towards happy outcomes. Yet often our agendas and expectations get in the way of the natural flow of things. When this happens, we forget to yield to what is actually going on in a situation, and end up creating chaos that could have been avoided if we just stopped an re-assessed.

Have you ever tried to get your kids to eat their vegetables? I feel confident you can relate to this particular battle, and what I call ‘Dinner Drama’. If you are willing, take my experience from the other night, and see if you can spot times when you’ve created drama that could have been avoided with a little flexibility and a willingness to meet your kids half way.