This past weekend was a mixture of sorrow and joy.
My dear friend came to visit with her daughter, thinking that Denver might be a place she’d like to live. She was contemplating a move, as a result of dealing with some challenges at home. This friend is my soul-sister – we’ve been through divorce together, raising our children as single moms, and spending countless hours on the phone laughing, crying and creating.
When they arrived on Friday, the first hours were spent in my kitchen downloading everything that had been going on in her life. We talked and cried and hugged, and I could see how cathartic this was for her.
Despite my efforts to stay upbeat and supportive, I felt sad. I love my friend deeply, and was troubled by her suffering. But I knew I couldn’t take on that sadness. Not only because I needed to be there for her, but it was also my boyfriend’s birthday weekend and we were preparing for an elaborate celebration.
So I was trying to balance “helpful friend” with “joyous girlfriend” and feeling challenged to maintain the roles.
Then the miracle showed up…our children.
The real joy of the weekend was watching Max and my friend’s daughter reconnect after not seeing each other for two years. They were oblivious to the conversation going on around them. They were simply in the space of laughter, imagination and playfulness – and it was beautiful.
At first my friend and I just watched in awe at how children pick up so quickly and know “friendship” in such a pure and authentic way.
As the weekend went on, we found ourselves in hysterics over their silliness and their humor, and how they found total happiness in the simple acts of singing, being pulled in a wagon, and making a fort.
I also became acutely aware of how Max “shows up” for the people around him. He LOVES to make people laugh, and he seems to know the precise moment to really turn it on!
The most fun was Sunday night when we were sitting around the dinner table. Coming to the end of a long weekend, everyone was tired. My friend had decided to head home, although still feeling confused. My boyfriend was coming down from his birthday celebration, and I was looking at a week filled with deadlines and work-travel. Despite the comfort of each others company and the beautiful meal we were sharing, we were stuck in our adult ways of being.
In the midst of this, Max broke out into a song about a banana.
As if this wasn’t funny enough, he was pronouncing it “bah-nah-nah”. The kids started cracking up, and proceeded to sing out the words potato – pronounced “po-tah-toe” – and tomato – pronounced “to-mah-toe”.
At first, as parents do, we felt inclined to settle them down. But as it went on, we all started laughing…and in no time we were cracking up as the kids belted out goofy songs in full operatic form.
What joy this brought to us all! And what a blessing.
It wasn’t until later than night that I realized how kids truly save us from despair. It is their very nature to BE joy, to BE humor, to BE love and light. They remind us that our essential state is all of these things. That we can call on laughter, song and creativity to guide us towards better outcomes.
And it did.
The next morning my friend felt renewed and ready to approach her issues with a new perspective. My boyfriend woke up feeling so fortunate to have spent a wonderful weekend with the people most dear to him. I was feeling grateful for my career, which set the tone for what continues to be a profitable week.
So often we take our children’s joy for granted. Yet they are such wellsprings! It was no accident that the kids’ crazy antics came out this weekend during the moments they were most needed.
This encourages me to pay attention the next time Max makes me laugh. Stop and enjoy the moment. Let the laughter in and feel it in every cell.
Rejoice in your child’s ability to make you crack up at the word bah-nah-nah. Breathe into the laughter and let your kids guide you through the tough spots. It’s just another way we can be eternally grateful for these little people who show us that life is grand.
Make it a wonderful day, and laugh out loud!
