Buying My First Training Bra

I was raised in a family of five children. Four boys – I was the oldest, and one girl Mary Ann – she was the youngest. At the age of almost four, my little sister became very ill with Encephalitis which is a swelling of the interior brain. This illness caused my little sister to become mentally disabled at a very young age. She was in essence a “special needs” child. My parents, as well as the family, lived with Mary Ann’s illness her entire life. Granted this was a tremendous hardship on my mom and dad. But it was, in my opinion, a blessing from God. As a single dad it is where I pull much of my strength, perseverance and commitment. As a family it taught us to appreciate what we have in life as it can change on a moment’s notice. Mary Ann passed away on April 27th, 2005 at the age of 37. We were so blessed to have this angel in our presence for that long. I am not here to blog about Mary Ann, although I hope to share with you in later blogs the motivation she has been to me in my life.

What I am here to let you know is that when it comes to myself watching girls grow up like other kids, I really do not have a lot of real life experiences to draw upon. Needless to say when it came time for me, or at least I thought it was the time, to buy my daughter her first training bra, I was about as lost as a defensive lineman in a synchronized swimming class. (Think about that one for a minute). Where do you buy training bras? What style would she like? Do they come in different sizes or is it one size fits all? Why do they call them training bras? I know that when I was a kid my dad bought me a “jock strap” not a “training” jock strap. Why do girls need to be trained? Needless to say as a single dad I was very lost. I don’t know about you but it took me until I was in my late teens to walk by the lingerie department of a store and not be afraid to actually look with both eyes wide open. Well that was not about to deter me. My daughter needed me and by God I was going to go buy the perfect bra for her. I just needed to decide where I was going to go to buy it at. At first I thought that I would just go to her favorite store, Limited II, and pick one up. But then it dawned on me “what if one of her friends saw her dad buying a bra for her?” That was the mom’s job not the dad’s. She would be so embarrassed, but I have learned as a single dad there are a lot of jobs for a parent, not just a mom or dad. Regardless I decided to pass on that idea. So I then considered the mall. Lots of stores and lots of options but sure enough some mother would see me, feel sorry for me and become my bra enabler. I didn’t need that as I was more than capable of doing this on my own. I finally settled on the Old Navy store outside of the mall. I marched in with all the confidence of a seasoned shopper, pronounced to the clerk that I needed to be directed to the training bras and proudly walked down the aisle, made the turn, and then…..oh my God, there are a lot of options here. What happened to the one size fits all thought? There were different colors and shapes and styles oh my…Well I did what any other confident single dad would do, I bought every style color and shape they offered. I could have fitted my daughter’s entire middle school at this point. I felt pretty good about my quest even if the checkout person did look at me as if to say to herself “rookie”.

All I needed to do now is bring them home to my daughter, show her what I did for her and wait for the customary “You Rock Dad” comment. When I got home I called her up to her room (the last person we needed witnessing this bonding event was her brother). I told her that I had a surprise for her. I opened all three shopping bags and proceeded to present her with what I knew to be the perfect gift. I told her that as her body begins to develop into the beautiful young lady that she was becoming, she would need these. It took about a split second for her to give me a look as if I was the dumbest dad in the world. “You bought me what? I am not wearing these. I don’t like them and I don’t want them”. And she left the room. But wait honey we need to talk… “Save it dad when I am ready I will get them myself”…Well I did what any good shopper would do, I reached into the bag and pulled out the receipt. Looks like I am going to need this after all.

You see what I learned by that experience is that raising girls as a single dad is such a challenge. You better know your boundaries. Women, young or old, can be a bit opinionated about what they want, and when they want it. Your daughters are just young women in training. As a single dad I sometimes wonder with my daughter if she is in training or I am? I think that maybe we both are. I wouldn’t change that about my life for anything.