A Letter to My Children

 Posted by Michael on January 27, 2012  General  No Responses »
Jan 272012
 

Dear Austin, Gracie and Zachary.

I have often thought of sitting down and writing a letter to you all, but truth be told, I never felt I could adequately put the depth of my emotions in writing. Just the thought of this letter brings a tear to my eye, and I am sure by the time I am done, the tears will be flowing freely.

 

You guys have experienced more in your young lives than most people do in half a lifetime. You had to experience the divorce of your mommy and daddy. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for putting you through that. I know how hard it was and my heart ached for each of you. What I will tell you is mommy and daddy’s divorce had absolutely nothing to do with the three of you. Sometimes parents have issues which cannot be resolved, but is not caused by you and does not diminish our love for you. I know I sound like a hypocrite, but marriage is a union between God, man and wife. When you find the love of your life, hold on and do everything you can to make it last. Never enter into marriage believing that divorce is an option if things start to get rough, because they will get rough. Marriage is not easy, but it can be worth every ounce of energy you put into making it work. Continue reading »

Did Your Ex Treat You This Well?

 Posted by Davis on January 26, 2012  General  No Responses »
Jan 262012
 

As I sat down to write this blog, I knew what I wanted to write about but I was struggling with how to write it – how to get the message across. I thought of a few different examples to throw out. I even started one version with asking questions. Nothing felt right until I decided to just  get straight to it. No soft interlude needed. The question just needs to be asked.

Here it is…

DO YOU THINK YOUR EX TREATS HIS/HER NEW PARTNER BETTER THAN HE/SHE TREATED YOU? Continue reading »

Just Have Fun! by Jennifer Maggio

 Posted by Jennifer on January 25, 2012  General  1 Response »
Jan 252012
 

The daily grind – work, home, carpool, dinner, organize the house, wash clothes, check homework, on and on and on ——

Do you ever simply have fun? Do you ever enjoy your children for who they are?  Do you ever dance around the living room with them - no matter their age? Do you spend time having a snack and talking? Do you sit outside and enjoy the cool, night air? 

As probably one of the most organized, workaholic, mothers that you will ever meet, let me give you some friendly advice.  Play.  Have fun.  Enjoy your children.  Continue reading »

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The WHY….

 Posted by Michele on January 23, 2012  General  No Responses »
Jan 232012
 
It is not always a behavior that is the problem in itself but rather the why behind why the behavior happened in the first place. Take a moment to step back, look deep within, soul-search and try to find the why. It is when you discover and understand the why that you can truly start the process of change, learn to forgive and finally heal. Michele DeVille

I recently attended a course and one of the main themes that day was talking about human behavior. We as humans are sometimes vulnerable to poor behavior and unfortunately we make poor choices and mistakes. For some, these behaviors become a part of our identity – a pattern that weaves its way into our being if you will and we find ourselves repeating a behavior regardless of the consequences or potential pain it might cause.  This leads to the perplexing question of why. Why would anyone engage in a behavior or repeat a behavior when it is wrong, causes pain, hurts, has consequences or at times can ruin a life if not steal it?

While there are no easy answers to this complex question I do believe that we must at a fundamental level look beyond the behavior itself and focus on the reasons for the behavior. We must peel back the layers of the onion as unpleasant as it might be and get to the core of what might be causing the behavior. Regardless of how big or small, there is a why that lies deep within that core; there is a powerful why that is driving the behavior. Continue reading »

With Everything That Happened To You, You Can Either Feel Sorry For Yourself or Treat What Happened As A Gift

 Posted by Bill on January 23, 2012  General  2 Responses »
Jan 232012
 

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Wayne Dyer

Over the years I have reflected back on this quote on more than one occasion. I have even sometimes wondered if the author was a single parent. During the past eight years I have been through living with an addictive wife, a broken marriage, interventions, rehab. centers, a separation, a divorce, the death of my children’s mother, the death of their grandmother, the executor of two estates, an IRS audit (which I won), a failing business, the meltdown of my investments in the stock market, a depreciating home value, raising my children on my own 24/7, dealing with their grief, anxiety and fear issues while wondering when, or if, it will ever stop? So again I say to myself:

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Continue reading »

My Dear Craig

 Posted by Guest on January 22, 2012  General  No Responses »
Jan 222012
 

My Dear Craig,

It is now 2012. This year will mark the five-year anniversary of your death. Perhaps it’s time for me to write you a letter…

I wish we could meet for lunch just one more time. I would have so much to say. I would be so willing to listen. Remember those peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwiches? That’s what I would order. Surely you would recognize me by this meal because I think I’ve changed so much you might not recognize me now. I’m all grown up, and even willing to merge into fairly busy traffic! I was 19 when we met and nearly 48 when you died. You remain the greatest influence of my life, and it is good.

You didn’t just leave me in the tragic five-year departure leading to your death. You left me left me with a tiny invisible box containing all the hope you had. It took me a few years before I could untie the bow, open the lid, and release the lessons tucked inside. My fingers weren’t agile enough to accept the box. Continue reading »

Are You A Control Freak?

 Posted by Michael on January 20, 2012  General  No Responses »
Jan 202012
 

I am. From parent/child relationships to employer/employee relationships, I am guilty of being a controlling person. I’m not guilty of trying to control people, but rather controlling situations. If I am driving on a trip with someone, I prefer to drive. I’ll fly when needed, but prefer not to. I take on projects in my career, when they should be completed by someone else. I’m not trying to control the other driver in the car or the pilot or the employee. I’m attempting to control the situation.

If I do not have control over the situation, then I have no control over the outcome.

It’s not a good trait to have when parenting on my own. I have had it pointed out to me in the past, that I often bail my children out of situations and it has often been due to my attempt at controlling the situation. Continue reading »

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